Creating a Balance Between Pleasure and Pain
We live in a world of abundance and constant stimulation and, as a culture, we have grown accustomed to a steady surge of dopamine keeping us coming back for more. Whether it’s drugs, social media, food or a plethora of other options, we have grown accustomed to constant overstimulation and pleasure, and we have increasingly grown addicted to that feeling.
Dr. Anna Lembke writes about this in great detail in her book Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.(DN) I highly recommend this book for anyone struggling to find balance in his or her life, or wanting to create new habits that most reflect your values and goals. I want to give an introductory explanation of what she touches on in the book focusing on two things in particular:
Firstly, we were not designed to live in a constant state of stimulation and pleasure. Our brains will demand more and more of that pleasure to be satisfied resulting in disappointment and a collection of destructive habits.
Secondly, that pain is essential to human existence and the only way we can truly achieve balance, or homeostasis, which is what our brains crave, is to also allow for pain (or discomfort) to be a part of our lives.
Anyone who has ever known an addict knows that a person addicted requires more and more of their drug of choice to be satisfied. Dr. Lembke describes this as the “pleasure-pain balance.” She explains: “Dopamine is a neurotransmitter in the brain involved in reward processing, the more dopamine a drug or action releases in the brain’s reward pathway, the faster it releases dopamine and the more addictive that drug or activity becomes.” (DN, 52) Neuroscientists discovered that “pleasure and pain are processed in overlapping brain regions and work like a balance.” Imagine a see-saw or a scale. When nothing is on the balance it’s level with the ground. When we experience pleasure and dopamine is released, the scale tips to the pleasure side of the balance BUT it wants to remain level, so every time the balance tips toward pleasure, “powerful self-regulating mechanisms kick into action to bring it level again.” (DN, 53) This happens like a reflex. This is also why something that initially brought great pleasure in small doses (think a rich dessert in a small portion) eventually requires more of the thing to get the same effect. But the good news, if we do not over consume, our brains adapt to the absence of the thing and we reestablish a level balance.
What does this have to do with weight loss and health goals?
What I see in my work with people trying to change their habits is that no amount of information is the key. In other words, we can know all the right things to do but that doesn’t mean we will do them. We need to understand that most of the time our pleasure-pain balance is out of whack when it comes to food. We have reinforced emotional eating (eating because we are bored, busy, happy, sad, lonely, in the company of loved ones) by repetition and overconsumption. If we do not balance those habits with ones of restriction, we will need more and more of the food and end up with lifestyle diseases, discomfort and excess weight.
What do we mean by pain?
When trying to reestablish homeostasis or balance we do not need to experience excessive pain but rather an opposing force or feeling. Her are a few examples of pain in relation to health and weight loss:
Exercise: Exercise is a perfect example of how pain and discomfort can result in pleasure. Runners call this a “runners high.” Exercise releases dopamine, endorphins, serotonin, and other mood regulating hormones that create a sense of pleasure and well being. The temporary pain or discomfort are quickly overcome by the reward. There are also the rewarding health benefits.
Fasting: Fasting or even time-restricted-eating (not eating between meals) is a great tool for creating balance. When we fast , we allow ourselves to be uncomfortable. We recognize that we don’t have to have everything we want – the second we want it. People often report: after fasting, a type of joy and pleasure that comes from the accomplishment of finishing a fast. I often hear, “I survived and it wasn’t that bad?” or “I really can go without eating.” Fasting also allows for the desire for the dopamine surge to diminish. When fasting, people usually crave “real food,” not junk.
Radical Honesty: This is a more abstract form of pain, but a necessary one if we truly want to see real, lasting change. We have to be honest about how much we eat, what we eat and where the imbalance truly is. This can be true for any behavior that throws us “out of balance.” Whether it’s food, alcohol, or time spent on our phones, if we aren’t honest with ourselves and those we love – about the need for change – we will never actually change.
Each person will have to determine what is required to find balance, but it helps to know that your brain is literally fighting to achieve it.
“The good news is that we are capable of changing; it is possible to reestablish balance. Your goals are achievable. ”